Found Out
by tectrices
Summary: /Rayne/ Written for a Copper For A Kiss challenge. /'Captain' she called. 'Exciting news. I am molesting your hired gun./


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Firefly/Serenity.

**A/N:** Also written for the Copper For A Kiss July Challenge - but this time the Second Lightning Round, flash-fic part. With the prompt: Spirit. Of course it's Rayne.

Found Out  


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"Jayne."

"Mmmph."

"_Jayne_."

"I'mma... nrrn. Hm."

"Jayne! Achieve full consciousness now lest I be forced into the dumping of exceedingly frigid dihydrogen monoxide upon your overly thick cranium."

"Ooh, that's right, baby girl - keep talkin' smart to me."

"Wake _now_, Jayne Cobb!" A dainty hand whapped him hard on the shoulder.

"Ow! Damn, woman, I'm up." He rubbed groggy eyes and sat up. River threw a t-shirt at his head and - grumbling all the while - he pulled it on. "Now what's so important that you had to go an' wake me up?"

She blinked owlishly and said "The Captain approaches. He needs to converse with you. He would have knocked and either woken you up, provoking inappropriate response, or come down and we would have been discovered."

He scowled. "If you knew he was comin', you could have just left."

"You have previously forbidden me to depart before you awaken."

"That's normal times you... ruttin' crazy-genius. Don't mind you boltin' when Mal comes pokin' around. I ain't too keen on gettin' spaced."

She nodded. "Understood. Will remember for later occurrences." But still she stood there.

Jayne sighed. He made a shooing sort of motion towards the hatch. "Well... Get."

"No."

"What?!" He stood, outraged. You get out right now, Riv, or - "

"I said no. Negative. Will not comply."

He gaped at her for a moment before booming again "What?!"

River crossed her arms and cocked her head to one side. She stared at him curiously, not at all intimidated by his superior height. "Are you ashamed of me?"

"Wha... Now girly, you know I - "

"Asked question. Expect answer, man-called-Jayne. I am not ashamed of you; are you ashamed of me?"

He scowled, rubbing one hand over his goatee. "No. I ain't ashamed."

"Good. Then it is decided. We are announcing status to the crew."

"Whoa! Uh-uh, no way, ain't happenin'."

Ignoring him, she scuttled over and pulled his bunk open. "Captain! Malcolm Reynolds, presence requested immediately! You must come to - Mmph!"

Jayne pulled her back his hand over her mouth. "Shut up!" he hissed. "What're ya tryin' to do? You wanna gorram kill me, just do it ol'-fashioned like. I told ya before - I don't wan' to get spaced."

Heedless of his protests, River bit his hand. He yelped, but dropped her. "Captain!" she called. "Exciting news. I am molesting your hired gun." She batted Jayne away. "Jayne Cobb is willing and able bedmate."

"Stop it right now," he demanded, growing angrier and more worried by the second. He hoisted her up and, though slowed by her flailing, deposited her on the bed.

River squawked, but scrambled right back up again. "Sex!" she yelled. "Copious amounts! Jayne's skill is legendary - he may be saddled with girl's name but has very, very exemplary man-parts."

By that time it was too late. Even though Jayne had managed to muffle her mouth against his chest, he could already hear Mal's boots tromping towards them. River smiled up at him with a bright, happy gleam.

He looked up angrily. "Aww, go se."

"Jayne! Jayne Cobb, I think you an' I need to have a little talk."

He swallowed, trying to tamp down the smidgen of fear and intense regret he felt. "Uh... 'M in my bunk, Mal."

He let go of River and sat down on the bed. River got on her knees behind him, scratching his back encouragingly like he was a dog. A second later, Mal came, stomping down the ladder to join them. The bunk was small to begin with, made even smaller by the addition of a third person. Jayne wasn't scared of Mal, but the man could be mighty intimidating when he chose.

"Jayne." He raised an eyebrow in invitation, waiting to see if the big man would offer an explanation. "I heard, uh... some mighty interesting things."

"All truth," River assured him, wrapping her arms around Jayne's chest. "All lovely, magnificent truth."

"Oh really?" Mal, looking none too happy, levelled Jayne with a stare. "That so?"

"Oh, you know how she gets, Mal - still a little, uh, moony sometimes. I..."

River made a defeated sort of noise, releasing him and crawling back against the wall. He shouldn't care and a thousand times he'd told himself he didn't care, but... He hated to see his girl disappointed.

With a huge sigh, he said, "Yeah. It's true, Mal. 'Sall true."

After one long, tense moment, Mal said, "Well - it's 'bout damn time you admitted it."

_That_ was unexpected. Jayne glanced wildly between Mal and River. "Wha... I... Gorram it, Mal, what the hell're you talkin' about?"

River giggled and planted kisses all over his temple. "Crew has known for weeks. You are not subtle. Captain-Daddy refused to believe, but I knew my Jayne was man enough to admit it. Testicular superiority and presence confirmed."

Mal rolled his eyes. "Yeah, go on an' gloat, Albatross. I'll get ya your money soon."

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Thanks for reading; hope you enjoyed it! Please review; feedback is desired, appreciated, and makes a little writer like me so very happy.


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